diLLEma!!!

i dunno how to ask him if he needs help.argghh...feel like cursing =( i'm just too scared to ask him 'hey, do you have anyone going wt you on that day?' oh my.....

I will hunt u down.grr

never thought that it'd be very hard to find a job. but i'm trying to think positive. i will get a job. it's just a matter of time. every one has been promised his or her part in this world. i just need to keep looking for it. don't worry ^_^

I Love U Granny

i have lots of spare time now since i haven't started working yet. so, i have so many entries to post just in one single morning. actually i've been keeping so many things to myself all this while and now is the time to get them out of my mind.lol

this time  i feel like sharing a little bit about my granny who should not be named.hehe..tadaa~

me & granny. the legs behind were cousin's.hehe

waiting for the pilot (me) to get ready to get on board.lol

these pictures are the only collection i have with Granny. i accidentally found them in my lappy. really treasure them.

Granny is very very very old. her date of birth stated in the ic (identification card) is 1920. but uncle told me tha she was born earlier than that (i wonder if she had heard about the sinking of titanic few years before).  they just guessed the year since people back then did not have birth cert. so when they wanted to register for an ic they merely guessed the year they were born in. so, this year Granny would be probably almost 100. She is currently staying with Mom and we take care of her because now she is forgetful and very childlike. She still looks young though and speaks really loud for an old woman.lol

What i miss so much about her is the moment when she was healthy and strong. we used to sit at the stairs (as u can see  in the pic) and talked about the past. i always asked her about the British occupation in Malaya, the Japanese invasion and the independence. she told me about few English people working near the village. she told me about how she and others fled to islands when the Japanese came. she also told me about the joy when Malaya got her independence.

 She's been through the transition of Malaysia. i regret that i didn't record our conversation about those accounts at least for family heritage. i just can keep what she told me in my own memory. the moment when we had a chat is so valuable that i realize how important it is for a family to keep its history and heritage to be told to the next generation. then you can find out who you are. so appreciate the moment with the ones you love before losing it  ^_^

 

Breast massage~

B.R.E.A.S.T

one word that is amazing. one word that defines so many things. one word that is adorable ^_^

well, i'm not trying to talk about nasty thing here. okay?

me personally think breast massage is very good for girls. i myself am practicing it. dlm bilik air tu mesti kena ade minyk johnson baby yg kaler green. yg de aloe vera. girls, i highly recommend you to do it ^_^

bla seswai wat breast massage ni? slalunye littlelady wat pas mandi. sbb tyme tu jgak seswai utk wat breast checking. pas mandi breast akn jd lembut dn senang nk detect klu de benjolan pape. utk wat breast massage ni bleh pakai minyk baby johnson @ minyak zaitun (littlelady pakai yg safi py sbb bau dy wangi bla comes into contact wt the breast skin). pki minyk je sbb xsure ngn produk krim kat pasaran. risky.huhu

breast massage ni bagus utk maintain breast spy sts tegang dn nmpk cantik. dn org ckp bleh besarkn breast naturally. well at first, littlelady cam xcy je statement tue. i started doing it buln 5 taun lps. practiced 4 1 month. alhamdulilah de prubhn. kr btul jgak la pe yg org ckp. hehe ^_^ smpi skg still practice it n i'm happier wt myself.

gmbr ni littlelady amek dr blog sayangi payudara anda. de gmbr ngn eksplnesen skali jd seng nk follow. anyone interested bleh cuba. insya-Allah akn de prubhn.

Resepi puding roti laici

For d first time ever I bake! hohoho...

Mggu lps littlelady blaja buat puding roti laici.ngeh3..wat sorg2 lak tu. (bangga tue.hehe) tp de la mak tlg sket2 gtao nk watpe. alhamdulilah puding tu jd cam pe yg dhrpkn ^_^  purpose sanggup blaja tu sbb nk amek ati sorg kwn ni. nk wat seprais la kononnya bla kuar ngn dy. sbb dy suka laici. tup2  xjd kuar lak. sedeynyer. emmm =( sbb sedey py psl littlelady bg kat family je mkn. dr sdr mkn spotong je. gmbr pn x amek sbb takut nnt tkenang2 lak pe yg jd. pastu nnt jd kecewa sorg2.huhu

resepi dy senaaaaaaang je. sbb senang tu la littlelady try.hehe...maklum la beginner dlm baking. cara2nye adlh (announce ala2 grammy award) jeng jeng jeng~

Bahan A
-1 buku roti saiz kecik (450 g) (littlelady pki roti gardenia yg kecik tu pastu tmbh lg skeping)
-1 tin susu cair (400ml)
-2 cwn air (emm yg ni sush sket nk explain sbb men agk2 je bg cukp2 roti yg dh dikoyak tu tenggelm. xde sukatn tepat)
-1 tin buah laici (guna je yg dlm tin tu. lg byk laici lg sedp.hehe...amek buah laici je.air xyah)
-1/2 cwn gula halus (sape2 yg xmo manis bleh kurgkn sket)
-2 biji telur (dipukul)
-2 sudu mkn tepung jagung (dbancuh ngn air dl sbb littlelady p trus tabur kat ats roti tu. pastu kena mrh ngn mak. mak ckp 'ne ada org wat cmtu. btuah btul'. maklum la br blaja kot. ngeh3)


Bahan B (sos karamel)
-1 cwn gula perang
-1/2 cwn air
*masak smpi pekat

Cara buat:

1. Koyak roti ngn laici kecik2 dlm satu bekas.
2. Campur sume bhn A tue dlm bekas td & rendam slm 1 jam.
3. Masukkn ke dlm loyang yg dh dsapu minyak (littelady pakai planta ats saranan mak)
4. Bakar pd suhu 180 drjh C slm 1 jam.
5. Sejukkn. pastu potong la & mkn ngn sos karamel

Sedap~ slmt mencuba ^_^

p/s: gmbr kat ats ni littlelady dwlod dr satu blog ni. not mine

Petua kecantikan yang simple & free ^_^

Assalamualaikum dan slmt pg ^^

Okey, entry kali ni littlelady nk share bbrp tips 4 anyone yg nk jg kcantikn. simple je. xyah kuar duit pn. littlelady sdr pn amal benda ni dan alhamdulilah ada prubahn ngn glow wjh. 

1. Bukak je mata, pas bc doa bgn tdo tue, raup wajah dl dgn prgerakn dr bawah dagu ke kepala. i'Allah tubuh akn rs segar dn bsedia utk live ur life to the max ^_^

2. Slps bangun tdo, jgn trus berus gg. minum steguk air kosong. sblm telan tu kumur dl. littlelady tao de yg akn rs ewww. tp ia de kaitan ngn enzim yg kta produce waktu tdo. enzim tue baik utk perut. sorry but i don't remember the scientific explanation.huhu...

3. Basuh muka ngn air plain. biarkn ia kering scr smulajadi. sblm basuh tue slwat ke atas Nabi s.a.w dl sbyk 3x dn niatkn spy Allah cantikkan wajah kta spt wajah Nabi Yusuf (bleh bc pas mekap). cr nk basuh muka tue pn de tao. start dari tgh2 muka (T-zone) bgerak ke atas dahi sblm turun ke pipi dan leher. kemudian bwk tgn tu kuar dr bwk dagu (xtao cmner nk eksplen ngn tepat. hrp2 senang dfahami.hehe). It's better klu amek wudu' tyme nk solat subuh tue @ bla2 ms. biarkn je air wudu' tu kering sdr. 

Klu u all prektis utk smggu scr konsisten, i'Allah akn de prubahn. Klu 40 hr prektis, i'Allah akn jd habit. well gud luck! ^___^
 

Assalamualaikum and good day everyone. after months of not updating my blog, it's time to do so. many things happened in my life and they all have become part of bittersweet memories. above of all, i've graduated this April after 3 years of studying  and am currently looking for a job. i'm considering teaching but human resource is also one of my interests. actually there are many things that i'd like to try and learn. However, when thinking that i want to get a Master's degree in 2 years to come, i really need to have a good grasp of teaching experience that will help me through the pursuit. so teaching is my top priority.

Since now i'm about to jump into a career, i realize that how time flies. looking back, i've grown so fast and now i can consider myself as an adult.hehe...i'm getting a job, having my own income and responsibilities. then, gonna have a family and children.god gracious, that's AWESOME ^_^

For celebrating my new era of life, i need to do something better this time and hope for the best. be more positive =D

Justin Timberlake - What Goes Around...Comes Around

I'm back!!!

it's been SO VERY LONG i hadn't updated my blog.huhu...well, of course, there were so many things happened. but i don't wanna talk about that.past is past. what i think now is that i should do something with my blog. something useful. something that i can share with people. cuz i find it BORING and DULL if it's just about my personal account, what i feel. emm...maybe i should do surveys and see what people normally come up with the blogs. i mean the pure bloggers. let me cave in first before waking up with some ideas.lol

Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You - Lyrics

Izinkanlah aku bersujud kepadaMu

Di saat aku termenung

Tika ini

Saat ini

Menitipkan pandangan 

Pada langit yang terbentang luas

Memuji kebesaran Ilahi

Dia-Allah yang Maha Esa, penciptanya

Pencipta segala yang ada

Betapa aku sedar

Diriku bergelumang dengan dosa

Kerna kealpaanku

Kerna keangkuhanku

Mataku teralih ke bumi

Menangkap sekumpulan jiwa muda

Yang sedang bergelak ketawa

Aku dulu juga begitu

Kerna nafsu dan cinta dunia

Akhirnya aku tewas

Aku rebah dalam dakapan seorang Adam

Aku lemas dalam bisikan harta benda

Aku tersungkur dalam lembah hina

Kini

Setiap detik jantungku berdetak

Diselubungi rasa kekesalan

Yang akan kubawa sehingga nafas terakhir

Namun aku percaya

Allah itu Maha Kaya

Kaya dengan kemaafan dan kasih sayang

Kepadanya aku bentangkan sejadah

Lidah menutur al-Fatihah

Rukuk dan sujud

Menitiskan mutiara jernih

Tika menghulurkan taubat kepadaNya

Astaghfirullah...

Aku berdosa kepadaMu, ya Allah...

Sebelum aku menutup mata

Sebelum aku mengucapkan selamat tinggal pada dunia

Sebelum tubuhku berbalut putih 

dibawa ke liang lahad

Sebelum talkin dibaca

Sebelum Malaikat datang bertanya

Izinkanlah aku untuk bersujud kepadaMu

Allah yang Maha Esa...

to someone who used to be mine...

To someone who used to be mine for not so long,

Lord has answered my prayer

To see you again though in a different atmosphere

I'm glad that you are doing well now

Though I cannot tell

Though i just can smile at you from the distance

I thought I'd never see you again

Before we diverge on a different route

I wonder if love is still left deep in our hearts

Or has the hatred engulfed us for all this while

I wonder if we can continue the story that we once wrote together

I wonder if we can say words that we once spoke to one another

But I never have the strength to tell you the truth

I keep walking on this path after we said goodbye

But at the same time I always look back to see

If you would follow me from behind

I never have the courage to say to you

I still care about you

And I miss you...

My short sory for assignment - Hope

Another assignment that we were asked to write a short story for that subject. i wrote it by myself within two days and thank God could finish it asap.huhu.. ^_^

Hope

The sound of thunder woke her up. She saw the window of the room was widely open. Her lady in waiting had forgotten to shut it properly. Quickly, she got up from bed and closed the window. Outside it began to rain. The night looked different. No star could manage to shine through the thick black clouds. Suddenly, there was a knocking on the door. She wondered what urgent matter brought them to see her in the middle of the night. Her lady in waiting was standing there with a man. She quickly gave him a courtesy bow.

            “What’s the matter, my Lord?” she asked in a puzzled but polite tone. She was yet to recover from the surprise of the loud thunder. Percy did not quickly reply. He gave a sign to the lady in waiting to leave and she did. Then he looked back at her. Straight into the eyes.

            “Hester, Edward’s dead. He’s murdered,” slowly Percy told her.

Years passed by. The old, gigantic grandfather clock at the living room was striking twelve times. Hester was still lying on her bed with trains of thoughts in mind. It was Sunday. The fourth anniversary of Edward’s death. He was found murdered in his room in House of Countville. Surprisingly, after the investigation was carried out, Edward’s cousin- Baron Gent was convicted with the murder. Based on significant evidence, he finally admitted to the evil. His reason was that he did not want Edward to be made a Count by the King. He did not want his cousin to be his superior. Every time thinking of it, Hester could not help rather than considered it as a very foolish deed yet had caused misery. Half past twelve, her lady in waiting came to inform that Percy would like to have a ride with her that evening.

            Hester rode on her horse slowly through the bushes. It was spring and the flowers had started blooming. In a distance, she could see vast fields of green spread as far as eyes could see. The trees, too, were shading and cooling. She could even smell the freshness of air as she took a deep, slow breath. She closed her eyes and tried to engulf the feeling of emptiness inside her. After Edward passed away, Hester could feel nothing but loneliness. He was the one who could make her smile or laugh. Reddening the scar just above her upper lip. A scar that stretched to her left cheek. A remark that left her a memory of her mad-driven father trying to slash her. She did not know what had got into her father that day. She was just ten back then. But they said her father was furious after finding out that her mother had committed adultery and she was not his. That night her father tried to banish her but her mother got into the way and was stabbed to death before her father himself took his own life. She was later adopted by her aunt Baroness Marie since she was living alone after her husband Baron Philip was killed in a battlefield.

            “I never thought you would come, Hester,” a voice softly touched her eardrum. She opened her eyes and turned. It was Percy. The prince flashed a smile.

            “I’m always at your service, my Lord,” Hester gave a bow. For a moment she wondered why Percy had asked her out. The prince did not seem to ever bother about the throne. He would rather let his brother to be by his father, the King and he used to say he loved to be a free man. But he would be there if the King needed him. He just did not find life in the castle amusing. That was what he mentioned at least. They got off from the horses and sat under a shady tree near a crystal-clear-watered pond.

            “I heard that you seldom go out for some air,” Percy said.

            “I’m not feeling well. I’d rather be on bed for some rest,” Hester replied.

            “It won’t do you good if you choose to stay in grief as long as you want. Life but comes and goes. Edward has been long gone. You should know by now,” Percy’s voice lowered when it came to mentioning Edward’s name. Hester was taken aback. She looked at Percy in disbelief.

            “He was my fiancé, my Lord. And was a best man of yours I reckon. How could I let him go from my mind so easily?” Hester could hear the anger in her words. Realizing that she had been too much, she quickly asked for forgiveness and remained silent. Even Percy did not utter a word. Looking past the beautiful flowers and bees were buzzing around petals. Hester slowly put her fingers on the scar on her left cheek. It would be more enjoyable to have Edward to ride together with them. Like they used to be in good old days. Edward never seemed to be bothered by her imperfection when others would smirk every time when they saw her scar. She was on top of the world when he announced their engagement after a dinner at House of Countville.

            “Those flowers look beautiful, don’t they?” Percy took her off her thoughts. She did not say anything but simply looked at the blooming buds. The prince was true. Percy smiled again. But this time, that smile took her by surprise. It was something she used to see in Edward’s. It was out of sincere. Eventually she could feel her cheek turn hot and she quickly looked away. Then suddenly, a hand touched her cheek gently. She was surprised and turned back to the prince. At this time, a soft kiss touched her lips. She was stunned. Numbness began to creep her veins in a blink of eyes. What did Percy just do?

            “I never thought that he would tell me that he was going to propose you after the dinner,” Percy said as he looked deep into her eyes. She gulped as her heart was beating fast.

            “I should’ve told you from the very first day those three words that would change our life forever. But Edward was such a quick man. As he always was,” he shrugged as if it was out of regret.

            “But I knew I couldn’t let him down by getting into his way. He was so thrilled when you responded well to his intention. So I prefer to simply stay behind and let all the goodness for I’ve promised to ensure that you won’t be left alone and be happy,” Percy said again.

Hester did not know how she should respond. Her feelings were mixed. She quickly got up and took her horse and mounted it without turning her head. She galloped as fast as she could as she could reach home. That night she could not lay head asleep. What Percy did and said kept haunting her. It was true that Percy was always there for her. The prince was her childhood companion and was very close to her even before she met Edward. The prince was the one who helped her gained justice for Edward. Yet he never asked for anything to be rewarded. He never asked about her scar. He never did. He was just there. Looking after her in silence. But how could she move on? By leaving all Edward’s memory behind? She tried to compose herself but eventually found herself being accompanied by her lady-in-waiting.

“What do you think of the prince?” suddenly she blurted out. Her lady-in-waiting looked at her as if she was asking when the sky was about to fall down.

The next day, Hester went to see Percy but was informed that he had gone out to the park where they went the day before. She headed there. In a distance, she could see the man was throwing stones into the pond. Noticing her appearance, Percy looked bewildered. But she just smiled.

             

               

When He Said Goodbye

Actually i did this poem for my Creative Writing Skills assignment.hehe 

When He Said Goodbye

The rain running wild,

The sky was dark,

The pain deep inside,

The tears were in the heart.

There was no word,

For the voice would break,

There was no step,

The poor feet would take.

That body was standing there,

Soaking wet in the rain,

Going nowhere,

She started crying in vain.

The eyes simply could see

The heart could only wonder why,

When he set her free,

After saying to her ‘Goodbye’.

Things that fascinate me

There are many things that impress me in this world. i'll try to list as many as i can.hehe

1. How we live everyday life.

We get up in the morning, do things in the afternoon and evening. then we go to sleep at night. in between, there are so many incidents we encounter with- meeting new people as we walk along the road and we begin to build bond with them. we learn new things especially through observation and imitation. we'll observe people and how they behave which, in turn, gives us perception about life. be it positive or negative, it depends on  how we perceive the world and how we've been cultured. but one thing for sure- we grow every second we live.

2. Philosophy & Psychology

I am always interested in philosophy and psychology. These two fields help me understand life and surroundings better. they give me insights that there is no absolute answer because we, human, are different individuals. as an individual, we have our own words and opinions. that's what makes us live and behave differently from one another.

3. Language & Culture

i've been trying to be open to other cultures and languages. for me, races don't matter. what differ us is the religion or belief. yet, the difference is not for us to be rivals. yes, there may be lots of contradictions but respect each other should be practiced. but i doubt if some can do so...(well, we are not perfect)

4. Ballet

ah-ha! i love this part and yet i wonder if i still can learn it at this age.huhu...the gracefulness of a ballerina really motivates me. seeing them makes me want to expose more of the feminine side of me. the gentleness and fragility..oh, really inspires me that i've been watching 'Black Swan' for times and can't help of being jealous of natalie portman.lol...(guess i'll send my daughter instead one day if she likes it)

5.Piano

Emm...i'm thinking of taking class on piano lesson. need to wait until i start working and earn my own money.but i do know that my mom will totally object this idea so i ought to do it in secret.hehe (i'm always be the one who breaks the familiy tradition.sigh...)

6. Books

i LOVE reading! currently am reading 'a doctor in the house; the memoirs of tun mahathir' and about to finish it ^_^ books help you travel across the boarder and time without money. life as a student, i often  find myself being broke.lol..so, by reading, it's the only way i can escape from my little room and travel into another world. i love biographies but you should try to be open and not biased when dealing with this type of creative writing.

7. First Lady

i always wonder how it feels to be a wife of a leader of a country. must be so many great challenges you have to face.i wanna be a devoted wife to a good man, standing behind him when he's leading, knowing that we are worth to each other.

there are things things that stay in my favourite list. well, i think they should stay where they are now for the time being ^_^

i woke up diz morning with a weird feeling.haha..weird...

btw, i'd like to start my day with blessing to Allah. alhamdulilah, praise for Allah, He gives me strength and rational mind to act appropriately after what happened. holding grudge over men won't make me happy. but what does is that i should change myself- my ATTITUDE. some might say there's nothing wrong with me. but i do believe there is.it's just that i don't realize what it is. Allah says He won't change any one unless he changes first. it's true. blaming others won't solve the problem especially when it is about our life. We should see that when we're pointing a finger to others, actually three fingers are pointing back at us. so, check ourselves first before we do anything. but it's not that we have to surrender and let people do us bad. if we're right, stand our ground.

one thing i realize- FAITH - is very vital in one's life. regardless of any religion, we should believe that there is a Creator. the One and Only. i find myself calm and happy when i improve my relationship with Him. He's the only One whom i could pour out my feelings to, be it sadness, anger, or disappointment. then i begin to realize that i've done so much wrong to Him and this time i need to pay back. i need to believe that He still loves me despite of what's happening. He wants me to remember Him.

so, for those who are in greater obstacles in life, deep down in a well of sadness, please don't give up. taking our own life is not the last resort although we feel that we have nothing left in us. though we feel ourselves are useless. there are still many, even a lot of options we can make. pray to Him and He always listens to us. yes, life is about making the RIGHT decision. but there is always ROOM for IMPROVEMENT. to err is human.it's normal to make mistake and we learn lesson though in a hard way. that's how we grow up and become matured.because it is a world where we can LIVE, LOVE and LEARN.

p/s: i'm feeling better after writing this as though i'm telling myself to be strong and remember that i'm not alone. Allah is always by my side. praise to Him, Allah the Greatest ^_^

a cute hamster at hairul.com

i'm getting happier now.hehe ^_^ btw, came across a blog just now- hairul.com. he has kept a cute little hamster at the right side with a note 'don't feed it too much k.' it's so adorable that i can't stop feeding it.(sorry mr.hairul) though i'm quite scared if it'll suddenly turn into a BIG MONSTROUS rat.huhu...just like what happened yesterday. i read a link on this blog asking if we can notice anything weird about a girl in a picture. and while we are actually trying to focus, suddenly the picture quickly zooms in to the girl's mouth which it becomes horrible. showing you her bloody teeth!eww.. i was at that time talking to my mom on the phone and luckily i didn't scream out of shock.what the...lol

MyJobStreet - JobStreet English Language Assessment

MyJobStreet - JobStreet English Language Assessment

Garou - Stand Up

Ok,today i'm feeling better. i gotta do something new.emm...i'm thinking of sharing tips on my blog.hehe...some improvement. i think i shouldn't let the hatred and sadness bring me down. it's time to move on though i'm going to regret so many things in life now. but how to overcome it?i have to start appreciating what i have now and become a really free girl.or a lady (preferably).hehe... i've learnt my lesson and now i'm going to let everything go. what is past is past.let's be somebody. this a world where you can live and learn.and of course to love again.o Lord, please give strength..